But this wasn't the war I dreamed

Raised outside of a military installation and early exposure to toy guns, plastic army men, and G.I. Joes as a child, made the soldier an icon, a figure of idolization; playing war was a favorite childhood game. My art explores my young adult experiences in the military. I was a soldier at 17, raised by a mother and grandmother, transplanted into a hyper masculine world centered around killing and anger. A world that my mother and grandmother are never prouder to tell people that I belonged to.

In the work, lyrics from marching cadences are printed in repeated patterns, reflecting the mantras they become when recited every day. Phrases from military recruitment advertisements and campaigns are painted using traditional Americana sign painting aesthetics. Screen and relief printed propaganda imagery in heightened, bedazzled camouflaged colors on Tyvek, wood, and tarpaulins become structures once imagined as a child, then experienced in military training, in the field, and in a combat zone. Installations of sandbags and cut Tyvek camo netting are made into bunkers for protection, concealment, and surveillance but exposed through the use of garish color and overt images of patriotic propaganda.

Through the use of appropriated propaganda imagery, pop culture military references, war comics, and personal photographs, it is my intention to investigate the lust of heroism. Military icons in pop culture are used as a form of recruitment. I actively explore how masculine language is used to define the identity of the warrior, supporting how psychological manipulation as experienced in the military is used. My work illustrates a world dominated by toxic masculinity where killing is arousing and the talk of killing is used as foreplay. A world where you bite your tongue if you disagree, because fitting into that environment for your survival is paramount to any personal moral beliefs you may hold.